Marilyn Sanji Monroe A K A The Bugs Fever
by mr redrum
Summary: Yaoi and non yaoi.but maybe only one side affection of zoro to sanji,and a little bit of franky to robin,also usopp to kaya.the rest are nakamaship crazyness at luffy's birthday party,because the mugiwara's crew really amused me sometimes.a one-shot fic.


ONE PIECE

**TITLE:** MARILYN SANJI MONROE A. K. A THE BUGS FEVER

**AUTHOR: **mrredrum

**PAIRING:** Zoro--Sanji, a little bit of Franky--Robin and Usopp--Kaya. The rest were Nakamaship's crazyness at Luffy's birthday party...

**WARNING:** PG-13  
**  
NOTES:** My very much thank you indeed for my dear kakairupowns-swan, whose being kindness to beta-ing it. Thank you.

It's a sunny day aboard the Sunny.

The day was perfect to celebrate their captain's birthday. So, the crew decided to throw a party for him, which really made Luffy smile in happiness because a party meant only one thing: more meat to eat. Luffy's smile was just a bright and sunny as the sun that morning.

His smile widened when the cook of the Sunny came onto the grass deck, bringing along snacks and lemon juice.

"'...Kay, snacks for all you shitty-bastards who helped prepare for Luffy's party. No, not you, Marimo. I know you just spent the time napping. You can forget the snacks and get your shitty-face away from me and just keep sleeping, anyway…" Sanji said to the just barely awake swordsman, all the while with his cigarette dangling in from his mouth. Some of the snacks and juice were taken by the boys of the crew.

Zoro didn't stir for a moment, rather confused because after he woke up from his nap, he realized that someone was placing lots of golden scraps of paper in his green hair. He'd have to brush it of in a minute.

Before he started to respond to Sanji's words, the blonde had already twirled towards their navigator and historian, both of whom were cutting up some more colorful ribbons to decorate the deck with for the party.

"NAMI-SWAAANNNN!! ROBIN-CHWAAANNN!! I bring you some snacks to enjoy! Please, take a rest for awhile and don't let your delicate hands become rough. Just let the shitty-bastards do the rest of the preparation…" he cooed.

Nami only chuckled before answering. "That's okay, Sanji-kun. I like doing it, anyways. It's not every day we have something to celebrate. And, it's for our captain, right? It should be special."

Nami and Robin then took the offered snacks and juice and sat down to rest with their refreshments for a moment.

"Nami-swan is really kind at heart. Is there anything that I could do to help with the party preparations besides the food, Nami-swan?" Sanji asked.

Suddenly, the navigator's smile widened. "Yes, Sanji-kun. Actually, there is something that you can do to help. You're the only one that I can count on to do it right. It will be a big help to me, Sanji-kun…"

"Really?! OF COURSE, I WOULD GLADLY DO IT FOR YOU, NAMI-SWANNNNN!!" Sanji was now practically dancing on his toes. This only served to bug Zoro, who was trying to get into his second round of napping.

"SHUT UP, COOK! You're bugging me! I'm trying to sleep, here!" he shouted.

Of course, that cued Sanji to shout back. A few minutes later, as everyone on board had predicted, they were engaged in their usual bickering and fighting with swords and legs being thrown around.

From where she sat, Robin shifted her attention away from the book that she was reading to the fight between the swordsman and the cook. Suddenly, she chuckled a bit, which made Nami look at her questioningly.

"Nothing, Navigator-san." She answered the unvoiced question. "It's just that just now I seriously considered that Swordsman-san and Cook-san actually are Bugs…" her hand waved the book that was open in her palms.

Nami just shook her head, and started to chuckle again. "I can't believe that you're still reading that book, ne, Robin onee-chan!"

"Well why not? It's a good book about humanity, anyway. We can actually learn a lot from it, Navigator-san. Especially about Swordsman-san and Cook-san. Did you ever notice that every time Cook-san pays attention to women like ourselves, Swordsman-san gets grumpy, which makes Cook-san grumpy too, and he suddenly totally forgets the presence of the woman and gives his attention to Swordsman-san instead? Not to mention that they actually admire each other and can work together well, despite their self-proclaimed hatred for each other." Robin gave one of her knowing smiles as she tried to explain her thoughts.

Nami furrowed her brow, deep in thought. "Well, now that you mention it, I think you may be right…"

"Yes, I think Cook-san and Swordsman-san are both Bugs that haven't figured out their true nature yet, Navigator-san." Both Robin and Nami looked intently at their two fighting nakama. They nodded in unison, before getting up from where they sat in their chairs, and continued their work for Luffy's party.

Usopp, who had accidentally overheard the two women's conversation, became curious and grabbed Robin's book to open it to the last page their historian read.

_Zoro and Sanji are bugs? Yeah, sure they have superhuman powers, but bugs?_ Was running through the sharpshooter's mind. Then his eyes caught sight of what was written on the page.

It read: _Bug: A bisexual person until they graduate…_

Usopp's eyes widened, and he quickly shifted his attention to Zoro and Sanji who were, indeed, still fighting.

_No way they're like that… are they? And when do they plan to stop fighting each other, anyways? … No, no way. Definitely no way… right? Hmm… the Great Captain Usopp-sama is confused, here…_ the sharpshooter got lost in thought, his hand supporting his chin.

After a while, he decided that he just didn't want to think about it. Usopp continued his work helping Chopper with the special effects for the party.

Soon he totally forgot about it.

"… I can't believe I'm doing this… I can't believe I'm doing this… I can't believe I'm doing this…" Sanji chanted under his breath, making Nami, who was busy sewing the white dress Sanji would wear, shift her eyes.

"What did you just say, Sanji-kun? Sorry, I couldn't hear you…" she asked.

Suddenly the dark aura around the blonde was gone and replaced with his usual heart-filled gaze.

"NOTHING, NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE TRULY BRILLIANT TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT IDEA LIKE THIS FOR LUFFY'S PARTY, NAMI-SWAN!" he cooed again, before asking in his normal tone of voice, "But, Nami-swan… uhm, do I really have to do this? Why can't someone else do it? I mean, what about you, Nami-swan? I bet that your beautiful appearance will be enhanced if you were the one wearing this beautiful dress…" Sanji was starting to have dirty thoughts about Nami on stage, wearing a sexy white dress, and singing only for him… _What a dream come true in paradise…_

"… Wipe the drool off of your face, Sanji-kun, it'd be bad for the dress if it got dirty. And no, I can't do this because I have red hair. You're the only one fit for this, Sanji-kun, your hair is the perfect color for it. I heard that she had blonde hair too. Besides, you don't want all of the boys on the crew thinking naughty thoughts about me if I were the one who did this for Luffy's party, do you?" Nami touched Sanji's chin with the tip of one of her fingers, trying her best to convince the man in front of her.

And it worked rather well, because the blonde practically twirled on his feet again.

"OF COURSE, NAMI-SWAN! I don't want those shitty-idiots to ruin your delicate appearance with some shitty-crude words…"

Nami smirked, aware that she had successfully convinced the cook to become a part of her plan. "That's good, Sanji-kun. Oh, and please don't ruin the dress with your cigarette ash, either. It was rather expensive, so I want you to get it back to me in perfect condition…"

"HAI, NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji answered.

The night was beautiful, with the moon shining on the grass deck, which was rather specially decorated tonight with colorful ribbon and good food. Everyone on the crew flowed in their happiness because they had the chance to get to know a boy named Monkey D. Luffy, the one who was leading them to reach their dreams.

Luffy, with a handmade golden paper crown, a gift from Usopp, was sitting down in his chair and cheering for his musician who was playing his violin on the new stage built by Franky just in time for the party.

_"I thought I'd never find another Captain_

_That I'd someday dedicate my life for_

_But you came around, washing away my pain_

_So, Luffy-san, I would die for you more_

_But as you can see, I've died already, and am only a skeleton_

_You're so pretty dear, but why do you have your pants on?_

_YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!"_...

Brook sung his song, and had shifted his attention from his laughing captain to Robin, amusing her with the ending of his song. This made Franky, who was sitting by Zoro, prepare to unload his weapons in his left arm at the musician.

"Sit down, Franky! And figure out whether you want to cry or shoot the skeleton. Don't do both…" Zoro dragged the shipbuilder back into his seat by one bulky arm.

Franky wiped at the tears on his face before answering. "Sorry, swordsman-bro. That bastard's song touched me, but he ruined it by bothering my woman. You'd feel the same way if your woman was being treated like that."

"Hn. Like hell. I'll never bother myself with a woman anyways." Zoro snorted.

Then, their little reindeer doctor appeared on the stage to continue his job as master of ceremonies tonight.

"Well, that was Brook with his song for Luffy… and, Robin… uhm… Now for the next part of the show tonight, which is really special! A legendary singer will appear to sing his, er, I mean _her_ song for our captain. MINNA-SAN, LET'S GIVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR SANJI, WHO IS MARILYN MONROE FOR TONIGHT ONLY!!" Chopper practically jumped, with a blush on his cheeks.

Suddenly, the stage curtain opened up again and a very tall blonde woman in a sexy white dress and pouty mouth walked on stage.

She stood rather provocatively, showing a milky thigh and looking intently at Luffy with beautiful blue eyes. After a deep sigh, she started to sing:

_"Happy birthday, mr. senchou… Happy birthday, mr. senchou… Happy birthday, happy birthday… Happy birthday, mr. senchou…"_

Meanwhile, Zoro froze in his seat.

_That's the perverted shit-cook? Why does he look so different? Those long legs, and it looks like he actually _shaved_ them… those red lips… that fricative voice…_

Suddenly, he could feel a bulge in the front of his pants.

_No… oh no…_ he hated to admit, even to himself, that the cook could actually bug him in _this_ kind of way.

"YAY!! SANJI IS MY MELLORINE FOR TONIGHT!!" Luffy's laughing voice brought Zoro's attention back to the stage. For some reason, he felt like bashing his captain's head in. _He's not yours, you idiot!_ Is all he can think before he realizes how wrong that reaction is towards Luffy.

And the bulge just got bigger, which didn't help either. Zoro slammed his head down on the table in front of him.

Near the stage, Nami was trying to pull Sanji and Luffy apart, before Sanji got suffocated by Luffy's grip around his torso in a full-body hug.

"Okay, Minna-san… Now we've seen a great performance from Sanji-kun here, and I will gladly announce right now that we're going to play a game. Everyone who the light shines on will get the chance to spend the night with our Marilyn Monroe!"

"What?! But, Nami-swan…" Sanji's protest was drowned out by the riot from Nami's announcement.

"… I want Sanji to call himself Kaya for me tonight!"

"… I want him to cook me more meat, Naaammiii!"

"… I want Cook-san to pop out naked from Captain-san's birthday cake…"

Nami waved her hands to calm them down, rather impatiently.

"Alright, alright! Usopp, you can make your perverted imagination real if you win, and Luffy, even though I know you already ate a ton of meat tonight, you can also make your dream come true if you win… and Robin? Pease don't play along with them…"

"I'm only joking, Navigator-san." Robin answered, with a slight smile on her lips.

Nami nodded in response, and shifted her attention to Franky, who was standing by the light generator, ready to start whenever their navigator ordered him to.

"Okay, Franky! You can light up the Rainbow lamp… NOW! Minna-san, let the game begin!" she shouted, jumping in her heels.

Suddenly, lots of colorful lights were shining along the grass deck, sometimes pausing on some of their faces, and moving on again, ready to choose the lucky person. All the while some music was playing along with it. Of course, their captain's amazed opinions about the rainbow lamps was the only other sounds.

Then the music stopped in its tracks. The light was shining on only one person.

Right at the still muttering green-headed swordsman.

"…AND THE WINNER IS ZORO, MINNA-SAN! OUR ZORO WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO TAKE OUR MARILYN MONROE INTO HIS BED, TONIGHT!" Nami announced, completely ignoring the whining cook beside her.

Zoro only looked up, rather confused over what just happened, because he wasn't paying attention to the stage after Sanji's performance.

"GREAT, ZORO! You've just won Sanji! Hurry, stand up and take your prize…" Usopp joked from where he sat near the swordsman's seat.

"Come on, Zoro. He's waiting up there…" he continued. He shut up when Zoro shot him a death glare, one hand still cupping the bulge in his pants.

Suddenly he froze, realizing the true reason Zoro couldn't stand up at the moment.

Usopp swallowed thickly. _NO, I WILL NOT START THINKING ABOUT ZORO AND SANJI BEING THOSE KIND OF 'BUGS'._ Was all he could think.

"ZORO, JUST STAND UP PLEASE! WE CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU ALL NIGHT, YOU KNOW." Nami was shouting again, losing her patience with the lack of response from the swordsman.

Usopp suddenly knew that he would have to say something to save Zoro's dignity. "Er, ZORO CAN'T STAND UP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE A BUG BIT HIS BUTT UNDER THE TABLE, NAMI!" was all he could come up with.

It wasn't a good lie, though, because Zoro suddenly stood up and punched him on the head.

Everyone gasped in unison.

"DON'T TELL A LIE LIKE THAT, LONG-NOSE! I WOULD NEVER LET MYSELF GET BITTEN BY A BUG, YOU BAST…" the green-haired man suddenly trailed off, realizing that everyone was focusing on him.

Especially on the bulge in the front of his pants… _OH, SHIT_…

"Marimo, what the hell kind of bug bit your thigh so it swelled like that, anyways?" the fake Marilyn Monroe was the first to break the silence.

"Che… it's not your business, cook." He answered, and just stalked into the boys' bunkroom, leaving everyone at the party with inquisitive looks on their faces. His own face was beet red. Hated to admitt, but felt like he just got bitten by a lovebug as known as the love-cook.

_...Besides, it's not like you'd care about it anyways…_


End file.
